Saint Andrew's Episcopal Church
516 West Third Street
Stillwater, Oklahoma 74074
405-372-3357

Redneck Episcopalians

You know your are a Redneck Episcopalian when...

... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members
        knows how to play one.

...people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait
        was used to catch 'em.

...when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand
        up.

...opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

...a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole
        it couldn't get out of."

...the choir is known as the "OK Chorale."

...in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

...Baptism is referred to as "branding".

...high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

...people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

...the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.

...the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

...the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.

...instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call

...the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

...the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink"

..."Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.

...the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, y Hear!"

Send mail to standrews@brightok.net with questions or comments about this web site.
Copyright © 2009 Saint Andrew's Episcopal Church
Last modified: 02/11/10